Make their book
Retirements

Funny retirement gifts

A funny retirement gift has to survive being opened in front of thirty colleagues. A personalized picture book about the person leaving does that: it’s written from the details the people who worked with them send us, so it’s specific about them and safe about everyone else.

Thirty years of loyal service. Finally, something with their face on it.

Make their book

A gold watch in a velvet box, presented by a hand with six fingers; the watch hands are tiny hands

The book to blame

No title for this one yet. The shelf is short, and one of the books on it probably still fits.

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A sample spread

FOUR! Little Denise adds a mark to Gary’s tally on the fridge while every kitchen cabinet hangs open.

Gary leaves a cabinet open.

Denise makes a mark.

Gary leaves another one open.

Denise makes another mark.

That is four before breakfast.

Ten Little Fingers: Denise’s First Counting Book, pages 12–13. Finished art, printed as drawn.

How it works

  1. A hand drops a printed photo into the slop machine’s hopper.

    Feed it one photo.

  2. The slop machine shakes and steams, rivets popping off.

    It does its thing.

  3. A finished picture book pops out of the slop machine’s chute.

    A real book comes out.

The whole process

Questions

What’s a good funny retirement gift for a coworker?

Something specific about the person and safe about everything else. A book written from the details their colleagues send us does better than another plaque.

Is a gag gift appropriate at a retirement party?

Yes, for a willing adult. Roast the habits and choices, never the person. If you wouldn’t say it in the meeting, leave it out of the book.

Can the office order one together?

Nothing stops it. One book is one order with one shipping address, so decide first whose address it goes to.

How does it work, and what do you need from me?

You pick the book, send one clear photo of them and a few true things about them. We write and illustrate the book from that. You must confirm they’re an adult (18 or older), they’re willing to star in a gag book, and you have permission to share their photo.

Will it arrive in time?

We print and bind the book after you order it, so it isn’t instant — and we won’t promise a date here that we can’t keep for your address. Order with room to spare. If the day is close, write to hello@hellosorry.com first and we’ll tell you honestly whether it can make it.

Who it’s for

A hand reaches over a cubicle wall for a red stapler that is chained and padlocked to the desk

Coworker

Nobody needs another mug. There is, however, no mug with their face on it.

A hand in a suit cuff taps a gold wristwatch whose face reads NOW, over a desk with a BOSS nameplate and a desk bell

Boss

A book about the person who signs your reviews. Read it twice before you order.

More occasions

All occasions

Somebody you love deserves this. We’re so sorry.

One photo. One real book. A lifetime of them bringing it up at dinner.

Make their book

From $19.99 · Character redraws: free, up to six a day · Digital copy with every printed book